Say Ah!

Ayer tuve que visitar al dentista para extraer una deteriorada pieza de mi dentadura. Realmente no puedo quejarme de exceso de dolor, pero si de un profundo malestar previo a la visita. Y es que no puedo evitar cada vez que visito al odontólogo recordar "La Pequeña Tienda de los Horrores" y a Steve Martin convertido en sádico dentista.

[ORIN]
When I was younger, just a bad little kid,
My mama noticed funny things I did,
Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head
That's when my mama said

[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]
What did she say?

[ORIN]
She said, "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way
To make your natural tendencies pay
You'll be a dentist
You have a talent for causin' things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist
You'll be a success

[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]
Here he is, folks the leader of the plaque!
Watch him suck up that gas!
Oh, my god!
He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?

[PATIENT]
Oh that hurts! I'm not numb!

[ORIN]
Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come!
I am your dentist

[PATIENT]
Goodness gracious!

[ORIN]
And I enjoy the career that I picked

[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]
Really love it

[ORIN]
I am your dentist

[PATIENT]
Fitting braces

[ORIN]
And I get off on the pain I inflict

[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]
Really love it

[ORIN]
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid

[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON]
Bicuspid

[ORIN]
It's swell though they tell me I'm maladjusted
And though it may cause my patients distress,
Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me
I know, I know, that my mama's proud of me
Oh, mama
'Cause I'm a dentist and a success
Say ah!

[PATIENT]
Ah!

[ORIN]
Say ah!

[PATIENT]
Ah!

[ORIN]
Say ah!

[PATIENT]
Ah!

[ORIN]
Now spit!